Zelda Porn Story: The Hentai of Time Part VII: You’re a Zelda!
Link fell out of bed, “Ouch… what the? Where am I?” he looked around, “That little bitch!” he was in his own room and a kid. “I can’t believe she sent me back when I was asleep, and after I gave her the best night of my life.” He thought for a minute [I could go sleep with Saria or Fado, teach her a lesson… or should I wait for her and do things right this time?]
Navi flew through the door, “Hey! Wake up— oh, you’re awake… already? I thought you’d be asleep for some reason, I’m–“
“Navi? What were you doing out there?” Link asked.
“How do you know me already?” she asked.
Suddenly Link realized what had happened, he checked his stuff; it was all gone. “No! She took everything!”
~No she didn’t, when the door of time closed everything reset to before this started.~
“Who said that?” asked Link and Navi together, looking around.
~I am Impa of the Seikah, I am using my telepathy to contact you from across the void; you must listen to me, when Zelda put you back in your own time she set off a chain reaction that made all the Sages’ travel back too, Gannondorf also maintains his memories but I cast a spell that made him think it was just a vission of things to come. You must listen to me, Gannondorf’s first move is when you open the Door of Time, you must not do that, do not even collect the stones.~
“Are we just gonna let Gannon run free? How do I defeat him?”
“Um, what’s going on?” Navi asked.
~If we can keep the gate closed for seven years then you will be old enough to run in and grab it without being sealed away. Then you can defeat him before he has the Triforce of Power, in fact you would have all three of the Triforces helping you. Unarmed with Immortality, Gannon will finally be destroyed and not need to be sealed away.~
Navi’s eyes turned into dots and she tilted her head to the side, “Um, does anybody want to fill me in on what’s going on?”
“BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DEKU TREE?!” Saria came in through the door, “If Link doesn’t defeat all the monsters in it he’ll die and Gannon will get the gem anyway!”
~I am well aware of that, but if Link collects the stones again–~
“STONE! SINGULAR! LESS THAN THREE!” Saria yelled.
~I’m afraid if Link gets one right away, then waits for seven years Gannondorf will get very suspisious. I supose there is one way to solve this, but you must take a week to pass it and complain about how hard it is to Mido so Gannondorf will think you are incompetent.~
“Mido is working for Ganno?!” Link and Saria screamed.
“Um, –” Navi started but Sprite (Saria’s fairy) pulled her to the side and explained the whole future thing as well as she could (she heard it from Saria).
~No, but I do not know where Gannondorf’s spies are and Mido will no doubt spread the word to everybody because he likes gossip and making you look stupid.~
“Well, thanks.” Link said, “So the plan is look stupid and wait…” he sighed, “I think I’ll kill my self.” he was going to put his sword against his belly (sepuku) jokingly, but he didn’t have it.
“Come on it’s not that bad, we can get the sword tomorrow; but for now–” Saria rubbed what little she had to offer against Link’s back as she hugged him and started moving her hand down toward his goods.
~No, no, no; there’ll be none of that! Link is a little kid now, and Zelda wishes him to live like one.~
**I COULD GO ON WITH THE STUPID EXPLINATIONS FOREVER, BUT BASICALLY LINK DOESN’T LEAVE THE FORREST FOR A MONTH; AND WHEN HE DOES A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENS AND WE REJOIN HIM AT KAKARIKO VILLIAGE**
“Again?” Link asked.
“Yes.”
He breathed out a puff of air, “Okay, but this is the last time.”
“Thank you.”
“We have to do something about you girl.” Link left to go fetch the lady’s ‘cuccus’ again (what did you think was happening?)
As Link ran around town to the same spots as last time and came back to throw them in she thought: [girl… I haven’t been called anything but ‘the cuccu lady’ for years.] She looked around, [Hmmm, one short; where’s Link?] she looked around some more and as she turned to the graveyard, Link fluttered down with the last cuccu. She turned around seeing this dramatic shot with the lens glare and triumphent music: DA-DATTLY-DA-DA-DONTTELY-DA!!! (music doesn’t work as well when typing) and he gracefully touched the ground and set the cuccu down.
“Don’t cheer, don’t applaud, just throw money.” Link joked, bowing. She obviously wasn’t listening because she was clapping and cheering. “Anyway, I can’t be here every day to round up these critters, you really ought to extend the fence or get their wings clipped.”
She just smiled.
Several hours later Link had finnished doubling the fence’s height (with the pile of wood sitting there) and clipping the cuucu’s wings (which took quite a while because they kept summoning the flock to kill him). He wiped the sweat from his forehead, “Whew, I’m glad I don’t have to do that every day.”
She was a little short on cash and she knew a 20 wouldn’t pay for what he did, so she offered him dinner and a place to stay for the night. Link agreed, he hadn’t eaten a decent meal since Talon threw that Super Cucccu party.
Talon killed the fattened pig and made Cantonese Sweet-and-Sour Pork, wich Link thought might have been an overkill since all he did was find the ‘Super’ cuccus in a flock of normal ones. After drinking too much milk he asked Link to marry Malon, wich Link declined this time because he already had a girlfriend named Zelda. [She said something about that, right? The whole horse rape thing… what was it? Oh, wait… it was just somene to think about while masterbating… I’ll have to think of another way to save her.] Link thought, [I guess I won’t have to worry for a couple years.]
“This is quite tasty.” Link said. She had served him Beef-with-Broccoli and a small glass of wine. Link tried to say something but she insisted that it would aide the digestion and help him sleep tonight.
“Thanks, I don’t normally get to cook for people because I’m not married.” [There’s something odd about this kid… he’s smart, strong, can hold his wine, and he eats broccoli. He doesn’t call me or (in Japan kids normally adress people this way), he acts like I’m his age. Those clothes… he must be a korikian adult, the poor race doomed to spend eternity in children’s bodies.] “I mean I don’t have a husband to cook for… did I sound desperate?”
“Wha?” Link wasn’t paying attention, and the pause between had thrown him off. But he heard the word desperate so he said, “Everybody feels desperate at some point in time. For instance I have this girlfriend who’s about my heigth, but I have to wait for her to turn 18, and I have to wait outside the forrest so I’ll get taller too.”
[I was right!] “That must be hard,… the waiting I mean. How do you get by?” she asked.
[By masterbating, mostly] “Um, well… you know;” he thought for a moment, “I don’t.” He looked her over, she had red hair and blue eyes; she wore a dark blue dress with a white top and sash. She also wore a brown vest which had several chicken scratches and the glisten of dried snot in places (she’s allergic to chickens, I mean cuccus, remember?) Link had finnished his dinner, [You know she is kinda hot, except for the snot-stains. But you can’t really blame her, in a way I admire her courage for raising them even though she shouldn’t. Link was getting aroused, [It’s been two months since I came back and I’ve been faithful, I can surpress this.]
But by faithful he meant he had not had sex with anybody. He had jacked-off numerous times and just last week he was so hard up that he:
[Man, I can’t stand it. Impa and Zelda are keeping tabs on every one of my girls, I can’t even massage them; I really miss the feeling of their…] Link needed release again. He walked into a building he thought was empty, he pulled of his boxers (or whatever he wears under his tunic [no body-sock, stockings as a kid]) and started wanking, but then he realized that he wasn’t alone. He stopped dead in his tracks, “Sorry! I can explain! Really! Please let me explain! I have an explination! _And it’s a good explination too!_ Why won’t you let me explain?!” Link was just biding his time, he really had no idea what to say. But when the girl didn’t say anything he walked over, [she’s asleep, I’m saved! Gosh it must be hard to sleep sitting up, and with some dickhead screaming like this.]
He stood on the table and poked her a few times. He noticed his little brother was really close to her head, he thought about face-fucking her [yeah suck it bitch! Ha-ha-ha-ha!] Ever since he had heard how Zelda had done his sleeping body (part 6) Link had developed a slight case of necrophilia, or at least he wanted to try an unconscious woman. [Of course sucking would either choke her or wake her up.] Link pushed her back and looked at her as she layed against the back of her chair. She had dark blue hair and a pink & purple tiedie shirt wich wasn’t long enough so her belly showed. Link pulled it up and looked at her chest; he’d seen bigger, and he’d seen smaller. [I can’t believe I’m just looking at her like this, I don’t know what I’d do if she woke up.]
Link calmly stared at her for the next hour observing and feeling up her goodies because he knew this was his only chance for a long time. He would jack-off with his free hand and eventually came, causing a mess down her frontside. He cleaned it up as best he could, [I can’t believe I squirted that much, I must have really missed breasts.] he put her shirt back on and sat her back up trying to get her in the position he had found her in. He felt guilty so he put a yellow ruppee (200) in her register, and kissed her good-bye. He turned to leave and when he opened the door her hand slipped from her chin, causing her to hit her head on the table.
“Oh, ouch! What the? A customer! Welcome to the Bombachu Bowling alley, how my I help you?” she said smiling.
[That really was a terrible thing to do, wasn’t it?] Link thought to himself, [At least I played it 10 times and got a bigger bomb bag; it still doesn’t excuse what I did though. …she had the most beautiful green eyes when she woke up, I sometimes wish I had done more.] Link had spent half the night thinking about how he wasn’t going to have sex with the woman he was staying with, and he was terribly horny. He turned to the side and bumped into her, “How long have you been here?” Link covered his mouth [did I just say that out loud?!].
“I lied when I said this was the guest bed, it’s mine; it’s the only bed in fact.” she replied.
“But why?”
“I thought you’d want to sleep on the floor if you knew that. And I slipped in because I couldn’t get to sleep in the other room.”
“You mean you’re trying to seduce me.”
“Did it work? I don’t know, I need practice. Some day I’m gonna need a husband or I’ll go crazy.”
“But I’m–“
“Not you, I’ve already got someone in mind, but I’m not a virgin so I need to make up with it by being good at *it*.” she blushed.
Link wasn’t going to ask who or what the reason was but he felt sorry for her. He knew that a girl’s hymen was a symbol of everything special they kept for marriage, and in the Sheikiah religion it wasn’t allowed to be even touched until they were 18 (that’s why he and Zelda weren’t at it like weasels). It was something about not getting her full powers and hunting devils or something… (Devil Hunter Yohko). “Well, your only problem is your snot. I could get you some nasal spray from the Lake Hylia guy.”
“Really? Other than that am I desireable?” she smilied.
“Yeah, you’re beautiful and all; in fact I don’t even mind the snot, I think it’s kind of sexy. But other people may not think so, I think I just like women too much.” Link said. (Of course she wasn’t snotty now, and she was wearing a frilly night-gown instead of her daywear.)
She fliped up Link’s tunic, and pulled out his penis. She started licking it and put it into her mouth. Soon Link was hard and she began bobbing her head up and down on it.
[Whoa, man she’s good! I guess no one can blame me for a quick blowie.] Link held her head against himself forcing more and more into her mouth. Suddenly he exploded into her. “Man, that was good… I’ve really missed it.” he said aloud.
“There’s more.” she said holding up her nightie showing that she wasn’t wearing any panties. She sat on Link’s still erect member and moaned. Soon she was bobbing up and down, impaling herself on his shlong.
[It feels so much better than I remember it! I’m going to cum soon, but I’d better not. If Zelda finds out…] Link held on for as long as he could but finally let go with his longest orgasm ever. [Ah, sweet release! I can’t imagine ever living without this.] Link relaxed and went soft.
“Well, how was it? Was it good for you? I still have a lot to learn, but what do you think needs the most improving?” she asked.
“I don’t know… you could try being less bold. Someone might think you’re a slut or something… no offense.” Link stated.
“Oh, that’s good; I never thought of that, anyway you don’t have to keep calling me the cuccu lady, I have a name you know; it’s–” but Link was already asleep. [Hmm, I guess I’ll tell him in the morning. He’s so cute.] Link was laying on his back drooling as he snored. She pulled the sheets over them and fell asleep herself.
The next morning Link awoke with a start, [OH NO! Zelda’s gonna kill me! I’ve gone this long without betraying her, and now I do this… this woman I don’t even know!] Link grabbed his things and left running. He ran all day and stopped in the middle of a forrest somewhere, [I think I over reacted. All I have to do is take a bath then not act like anything ever happened, yeah. But now that I remember how good it is, how can I live without it?] He saw Epona grasing nearby [I wonder what she’s doing here?] So Link sat against a tree and thought.
In nearby bushes a skull-kid possesed by Majora’s Mask looked at him…